Sunday, February 17, 2013

Cinema Babble: Would That That Were True

The Flick: A Good Day To Die Hard

The Peeps: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Radivoje Bukvic, etc, etc.

The Dealio: Ol' bull-in-the-china-shop, John McClane is in Russia to rescue his son, Jack, from  going to a Russian jail- or worse. Turns out, Jack is not just a troublemaker gone wild, but a highly trained (um, yeah), CIA operative on a sensitive mission to prevent nuclear terrorism. Let me make this brief: in less than one day- a day, moreover, without sleep, eats or potty breaks- the two McClanes are involved in three separate rollovers, shot at, fall through about 25 ceilings, get a chunk of rebar stuck through the side, are beaten ferociously on the melon with the butt of a rifle, are kicked in the head and chest repeatedly, then exposed to radiation at Chernoble. And, by the end of that particular day, come out of it with one small bandage on the arm for Papa and one scratch and a wince-y walk for Junior.  I don't know about you, but for me, any one of the above would have been enough to put me out of action for the forseeable future. And that includes the 'no potty breaks' part. Really.

The Grading Session: 1.42 pengies out of 5. I think the world of John McClane, but, next time, can we ease up on the  ordinance expenditures and plow back a taddy bit of that into plot and character development. As my mom would say, 'Really, I am so disappointed in you.'

Lessons Learned: Not all Die Hards are created equal. And finally,  when the source material has so much in the way of zippy, zingy smarty pants repartee, the lack of same  in a retread is just. too. painful. by comparison.

No comments:

Post a Comment