Sunday, May 20, 2012

Cinema Babble:Hate The Book...

The Flick: What To Expect When You're Expecting

The Peeps: Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Cameron Diaz, Brooklyn Decker, Dennis Quaid, Anna Kendrick, Chase Crawford, Chris Rock, Ben Falcone, Matthew Morrison, Roderigo Santoro, Thomas Lennon, Joe Manganiella, etc, etc.

The Dealio: This incomprehensibly best-selling book was turned into a sort of RomCom for the nesting set. Every stereotype related to the expectant state is brought out, dusted off and played for laughs. Of course, you also know that there will be moments of poignancy, loss, crude humor, over-wrought daddies-to-be and new daddies, hormonally amped mommies-to- be and new mommies, and lots of boob jokes. That's about it. Heck, yes, I brought a date.

The Grading Session: 2.0009 pengies out of 5. Questions? Please see above. I have history with this particular book, as I was a labor and delivery and complicated OB nurse in my past professional life. I have seen seemingly normal, intelligent women and men turned into raving loons by the competition amongst those in their cohort to whom this book  is a bible. If you don't a) read this, cover to cover, and memorise every syllable, and then b) incorporate every nuance of the recommendations therein into your daily life as a new parent...then you clearly don't care to bring your A Game to the party. The parenthood party. Folks, stop the madness and grab the reins. This is only one of many sources of 411 and needs to be approached with some sort of balance and perspective. Making it into a RomCom, (and not a terribly intelligent one, at that), is about the best fate I can think of for it. Stuffed to the gills with a New Years' Eve/Valentines' Day sort of ensemble cast placing all the Hollywood types into cute, trendy and popular relationships, this one seems familiar because it is! My date spoke, thusly, thirty minutes into the thang: 'You had about enough?'. But, no, I was oddly fascinated by one of the very minor stories, involving  the two youngest peeps in the film- Anna Kendrick's Rosie and Chace Crawford's Marco and ex-high school crushes who are now competitors in the local food-truck scene.  Their story alone seemed to have a sweet, tender and yet angsty touchiness to it that appealed to both of us.

Lessons Learned: (Already knew this one, but worth passing along): never lose focus when making homemade caramels. And don't even think about trying to taste-test  when at the molten stage. You'd think the name of that stage alone would warn you of the dangers. But they smell so heavenly, and...just a little taste? Next thing you know, you have no fingerprints.
Also this: there is no such thing as the magic unicorn of pregnancy, so stop wishing that this could happen to you. You've heard of the expression 'only in the movies'? Yup, that one you can take to the bank.

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