Saturday, June 12, 2010

Sex and the City 2

The Film: Sex and the City 2

The Perpetrators: SJP, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Chris Noth, Kristen Davis, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler, Willie Garson, Mario Cantone, Liza Minelli, etc.

The Dealio: Oh, come on! You know what the dealio is: the gals from Sex and The City- HBO series and the first movie- reunite to harvest some more moolah from their faithful. Of whom I was one. But, really, seriously: with two years to work on it, this is what they came up with. The beginning sequences, Stanford and Anthony's wedding, was really fun and enjoyable. Except for the whole Liza thing. I am sure Beyonce had a thought or two along the lines of 'Next time, pick one of your own songs to assassinate! Take New York, New York, for example.'
As soon as we get the wedding out of the way (and if I had to hear the words, snorted over unceasingly, 'gay wedding' one more time...),we settle down to 'breeder' bashing, wherein Big and Carrie get to feel superior to anyone who has a child. When they find their wedded bliss suddenly less than blissful, all is grand tragedy and whininess. Samantha is going through menopause- and when ever has that not been a hoot and a half (she said grouchily)? She is using a pharmacopoeia of drugs to turn back the relentless slippage of time. The solution to all this malaise and dissatisfaction with the status quo obviously should involve a trip to Abu Dhabi -definitely be my first choice. Forget about Tuscany or Province or even Cape Cod. Nope. Gotta go to a place where Samantha is constantly scandalising the locals with a show of swim suit, or bare arms, or more (ooh, la-la!). I especially took exception to a scene where Samantha spills condoms onto a street full of men going to prayer. I do believe that in the real world? (as opposed to the opulent Eden for shoppers that is supposed to represent A.D.), none of those women would have made it out of that street alive.
OK, enough of the grim reality stuff. On to the superficial: I hated the clothing, except for the occasional bib-necklace-d caftan. The make-up was garish and aging. Carrie behaved like she had never been to the Show before- instead of the staunch and battles-of-dating-hardened New Yorker she actually is.
We simply had to dump Aiden back into the mix, then promote discord with Big, who 'punishes' Carrie with a tiny blue box holding an eternal gobstopper of a rock. What madness is this? Grab the reins. Just say 'no' to a SATC3.

The Grading Session: 2.351 pengies out of 5. Whittlin' away a few more points for the soundtrack, so called, although I loved, loved, loved the rendition of Sunrise, Sunset at the nuptials.

Lessons Learned: Do not rely on a pretty good franchise to successfully make the journey to the big screen successfully. Twice. Also- I am not as gullible or accepting as I was 2 years ago.

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