Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Losers vs The A Team

The Films: The Losers and The A Team

The Actors: For The Losers: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Jason Patric, etc.
For The A Team: Liam Neeson, Jennifer Biel, Bradley Cooper, Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson, Shartlo Copley, Gerald McRaney, Brian Bloom and several original A Team actors.

The Dealio: Well, since this is, in fact, a death cage match, instead of spelling out the dealio, I will compare and contrast each of the agreed upon elements set forth previously. So, let's have at it.

Estimated Body Count: The Losers: TNTC; who could hope to keep up?
The A Team: approximately 5, give or take.

Truly Arcane Ways to Get Rid of a Rival: The Losers: Several, but lots of fails.
The A Team: A quote: 'I love it when a plan comes together!' OK? So, yeah, oodles of arcane death trap plays; also oodles of fails, flubs and high jacked TAWTGROARs.

Lethal Hot Chicks: The Losers: Zoe Saldana, in undies or less, shooting up hotel rooms, Vee-hickles, elevator shafts, stabbing, slicing and dicing as a means of displaying her displeasure, etc. Really hot, really lethal.
The A Team: Jessica Biel's Charisa Sosa: Army captain, usually in uni/business casual. Pulls a gun, never uses it. You must simply take as a fact that she is really lethal. We have seen in other movies-and in Star magazine-that she is definitely hot.

WMD's Involved?: The Losers: You bet.
The A Team: Not so much.

Personal Peculiarities/An Interesting Back Story/Ultimate 'Whoa' Moment for Villain or Hero-or Both: The Losers: One semi-ultimate 'whoa' moment for hero or villain, halfway through.
The A Team: We learn why BA is so deathly afraid of flying; Faceman used to date Sosa and it didn't end well. AWK-ward! One more towards the end, but to divulge more would be, if you didn't cotton onto this one waaaaaaay before the big reveal, I will really doubt your suitability as a PI or script writer, for that matter.

Undercover/Disguises: The Losers: Yup, in droves. Pretty inventive ones, too.
The A Team: Nope.

Reason for Mission: The Losers: Originally, set up to take a fall; new, improved mission is partly revenge, partly to restore good names, partly to save the world from evildoers.
The A Team: Ditto. Plus, want their jobs back.

Patriotism? (Bonus points if a small, elite group of renegade military reunites to clear their names/take down a traitor amongst them): The Losers: Patriotism, clearing names:si, all the rest, nope.
The A Team: Survey says: yes, yes and yes.

A Traitor Among Us: Both flix: See above.

Most Unique Mascot: The Losers: Has a mascot.
The A Team : exists in a mascot-free universe, unless Murdock counts.

Most Cohesive/Likable Team: Depends on which combo you like. I felt that both teams were composed of charismatic, good-natured members with real comradery and a sense that they liked working together. So- you pick.

Major 'Awwwwwww' Moment: The Losers: Indeed.
The A Team: 'I pity the foo' who's lookin' for an awwwwww moment!'

Bad Guy(s) Gets Left With Bum Check/Armor Car Full Of Newspaper: The Losers: Check and check.
The A Team: Nope and nope. Real money, now? Oh, indeed, color sergeant.

Parent-Child Connection: The Losers: 2
The A Team: Zip.

Really Killer Incidental Music/Soundtrack: The Losers: Yes to both.
The A Team: Surprisingly, yes to the first (especially if you dig a souped up version of the iconic theme from that TV show), and then, no, on the soundtrack.

Quality of Over The Credits Materials(Extra Points For Things Providing Closure/Catching Us Up With The Major Players): The Losers: Some of each.
The A Team: Excellent over-opening-credits 411-age; nice little lagniappe at the very, very end.

Dis N Data: The A Team: Best 3 D effect in a non-3D movie. Ever.

The Grading Session: The Losers: 4.199 pengies out of 5. Points off for gratuitous torture and extra points for that 'Petunias' tee proudly worn by Chris Evan.

The A Team: 4.47 pengies out of 5. Points off for dragging the ending out so, and for an uninspired soundtrack + not getting to see enough 'comeuppance' for various baddies. I know, shouldn't be too neat. Still. I like me some whuppin' of the baddies. Is that so wrong?

Lessons Learned: You can watch two similar flix in the same quarter and enjoy them both. Plus- who knew Liam Neeson could fit into the role of Hannibal Smith so tidily? That's Oscar Schindler over there, folks! Aaaand, as my sons would say- do not leave the movie until the very last scintilla of viewing is truly over; otherwise, you might just miss a bunch of cool stuff.

So, the first- and last?- Death Cage Match here at Cinemabibliobabble is now done. Let me know what you think about it. Just don't be cruel, as my man Ayul-vis would say. Thank you. Thank you verra much.

1 comment:

  1. Love this. The death match is an ambitious effort - I'll admit I was dubious. But it works - and works very well.