From Paris With Love

The Flique: From Paris With Love

The Actors: John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys Meyers,a whole bunch of other peeps.

The Dealio: I have no idea. I think the guys in the leather did something bad. Terrorism? General evil-ity? Whatever. Let me condense the story for ya: John Travolta's bonafide bad dude + JRM's weak and ineffectual (and, here, I am directly addressing his acting. He is, literally, swept from the viewers' consciousness every time Travolta shows up on-screen) wannabe field agent/spy drive really recklessly through Paris. Chinese restaurant, shoot, shoot, shoot. Cocaine shower. High-rise/sweat shop. Shootshootshoot. Tenement, shoot, shoot, explosion, shoot. Orange material,looked like silk, coulda been rayon. Vest, car, explosion. Eiffel Tower, cocaine. Pit bull. Royale wit cheese. More high-speed, reckless driving, dinner, betrayal, shoot, shoot, shoot. Bugs, more betrayal, stolen ring,more high-speed, reckless driving, missile launcher, car crash, shoot shoot. Chess, big gun, bigger gun. Royale wit'cheese.

The Grading Session: 1.93 pengies out of 5, all for Travolta, who seems to be enjoying himself. That makes one of us.

Lessons Learned: Apparently, it is dead easy to realign satellites to follow individual cars-or even people-on a busy street. All you need is this really happening watch. Which I want. I can't manage to realign my bite-even with the help of 3 specialist dentists, whose children will now be able to attend Harvard. I need that watch. Seriously.