Saturday, March 19, 2011

Battle: LA

The Flick: Battle: LA

The Actors: Aaron Eckhart, Ye-No, Bridget Moynahan, Michael Pena, Michelle Rodriguez, etc.

The Dealio: It's a far-from-original story: aliens do a dart-throw and come up with the decision to colonise Earth. Naturally. I mean, it really is the coolest place. Better even than Pandora. At first, everyone in the world believes that a flock of comets or whatever celestial hounds of hell have been unleashed- are heading, at warp speed toward Earth. However, some bright sparks who have especially well-honed skills of detection, realise that what is incoming is actually an alien life form. WhatEVER. The intent, and the outcome- is the same: destruction of the current populace. However, the actual plan has as its goal that Earth, now denuded of peeps, will serve to bolster the seven basic food groups of the non-carbon-based alien presence. In an amazing turn of events, the very first to know are the military. This, then, develops into the story of how a very determined bunch of Marines- and one USAF pogue- band together, against insurmountable odds, to wage a counter-assault on the aggressive would-be prospective tenants of Planet Earth.

The Grading Session: 4.79 pengies out of 5. Surprised? Okay, let's go through the numbers. First of all, thank God they didn't include the creepescent theme that plays behind the trailer. Ugh.
Next, although I did state that this was a far-from-original premise, those involved do a great deal with it, and there are some finely crafted bits for all the players to show what they can do, stretch their limbs a bit. All were very good, very true and believable. I really found the story compelling. But. Hasn't Michelle Rodriguez done the plucky, tough minded, moxie-ful femme a time or three in the past? Also- I really, really, really did not like the jittery handheld camera effect throughout. It was fairly nausea-inducing for me, and I have grown a bit tired of the effect, as director after director hops aboard this particular fad. Aaand haven't we seen the aliens-cobbled-together-from-junk deal too many times before? I found myself comparing these to the ones in District 9. And not really holding up to the comparison.

Lessons Learned: First of all: why are the aliens always picking on LA and NYC? Even as I am writing this, I must say that, in this instance, those choices make more sense than some of the others- like Paris, for example. I do not want to be a spoiler, so I won't tell you why, geographically, some of the choices of target cities make no sense. But if you see this one- and I would have you see it- you may share my confusion over this particular choice of targets. Next it's this: as we all know from countless movies of the past 50+ years, there is no possible way the aliens can shoot as well as the natural-born denizens of Earth. Why do they even try? Lastly: find the weakness in the aliens, and the rest is cake: extreme heat or cold? Bring it. Need air or water? Withhold it. Need pizzas or chicken? Call delivery, then, spike 'em with whatever you got (I recommend extreme heat or cold, hold the water and air toppings).

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